The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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