That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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