There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
