remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
