I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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