She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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