Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
