real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
