Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize