Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
