I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
