is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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