Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
