I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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