So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?