I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Drunk walkin through police station. America
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There are leaves in my underwear?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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