If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
