I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
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I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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