end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
