If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize