He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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