I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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