it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize