we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
