My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You need Xanax blowdarts
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
