I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
