My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
