You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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