The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
