I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
