after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Congratulations! We have a period
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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