and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
