girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
