I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal