apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia