Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
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Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.