New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.