I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
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If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.