PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
