like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize