i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
