I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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