So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
