kristin has been a bad kristin
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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