I look better un-naked...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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