Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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