I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
