They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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