i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
