you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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