I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
