I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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