gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
