The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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