The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Randomize