i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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