I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
