she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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