hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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