Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
