i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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