I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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