i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
