he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
